His majesty the policeman

lordbuckley.gifCurrent events bring to mind, as they must from time to the, the words of the immortal Lord Buckley. Mr Gates has been at Harvard far too long to be hip, of course (what’s too long? Buying a ticket for Cambridge?), but surely there was a time when he would have remembered Buckley’s critical piece of advice:

And if you’re really hip
You’ll never make a slip
Against Their Majesties, The Policemen

What can count as disorderly conduct in Massachusetts? Among other things, acting “with purpose to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm.” Don’t annoy us, children, it only makes us cross.

Update: Robin Wells gets it just about right, seems to me.

His Majesty The Policeman

I got to thinking about His Majesty, The Policeman, see.
I figured that must be the draggiest job in the world.
And what a drag it is going out on a good day.
You’re feeling really good.
You’re riding along and your squad car is all polished up,
you know what I mean.
And you’re feeling real mellow.
Along comes some poor stud with a –
loaded with kids, like flower pots all over the place.
Going a little too fast, you know what I mean.
You’ve got to stop the cat.
You’ve got to bring him down and lay one on him.
It’s a pretty tough job
and when you walk up to him you don’t know
whether they’re going to pull out
a French seventy-five or what-the.
It’s a drag. So, I wrote a little thing called:

His Majesty, The Policeman,
He’s the children’s friend at every bend,
The Policeman
And you can bet your life,
He’s hip to Mack the Knife
That’s His Majesty, The Policeman

You should never trip a policeman
Or try to hip or even tip a policeman
Get a ticket to the ball
And you can’t fight city hall
That’s His Majesty, The Policeman

So remember their nobility
They’re here, they’re there, they’re everywhere it’s mobility
You can look near and far but they’ll pin you by radar
That’s Their Majesty, The Policeman

Here they come – hewbetty boop
The Man In Blue – hoobbit bop
The Sargent’s there – ribbetty bip
The Patrolman too – hahbetta bop
The Chief looks great – hahbetta bop
The Captain’s straight – ribbetty bip
Hip Hip Hurray – da da da dah
The Royal Crew – Habetta bahbetta bah

You always try to swing with a policeman
And never ring-a-ding a policeman
And if you’re really hip
You’ll never make a slip
Against Their Majesties, The Policemen

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